I’ve been feeling kind of down about my body lately, which isn’t something that I’ve felt in a couple months. I was always one of the biggest kids at school, and I struggled with my self-esteem for a long time. I still do.
The past couple of months that I’ve been with my boyfriend, however, I haven’t been feeling so bad about my body. He makes me feel some kind of way, like I’m on top of world and everything is perfect. For once in my life, I haven’t walked into a room and felt instantly self-conscious, like everyone was staring at me because of my weight. I would just walk into a room and be.
Feeling like that has been amazing… But that feeling is slowly disappearing. I’m having more and more moments where all I can focus on is my weight and how I look and what other people think of me. It doesn’t help that everywhere I look, people are posting on social media about all of the weight they’ve lost. One of my nearest and dearest friends has lost over 80 pounds, and I could not be prouder of her and all of her hard work! I hate to admit it, but I’m jealous.
With the way my life is going, it’s hard for me to fully commit to a healthy lifestyle. I know that makes me sound lazy and that I’m just making excuses, and maybe I am. I have been doing as much as I can – going on walks, sometimes twice a day; trying not drink as much coffee; not buying as many snacks at the store. But with my schedule, by the time I get home from work, I’m too tired to cook or work out. I so badly want a gym membership, but there’s no room in my budget for it.
It’s time for me to buckle down and really get serious. May is going to be a month of change. A friend convinced me to set an insane goal of 6.5 miles a day, so that’s what we’re doing. I’ll start with walking, but I want to get into jogging/running, so I’m determined to do a Couch to 5K program. I’m also going to make my own low-sugar coffee creamer, as well as simple salad dressing. For each week during May, I’m going to slowly decrease the amount of sugar and carbohydrates that I eat, since those are my two worst areas that I want to improve. I’m also going to try to weed out the bad foods that I snack on, and focus on fruits and vegetables.
I’m concerned about my grocery budget, as I’m already cutting it close as it is, but I know I’m going to have to splurge a little to get the foods that I need to make these changes. I know it will benefit me in the long run.
I know this isn’t going to be easy, and I don’t want to be too hard on myself since I know this will take a lot of work. I’m hoping to have a strong support system in my family and friends to get me through. And I’m definitely going to try to blog about my journey as much as can, because I know that venting/getting my thoughts out will help tremendously.
Image courtesy of Her Campus
If anyone can give me some support, tips, or tricks, feel free to send them my way.